As I write this post, on October 29, 2023, it feels like major news headlines are like bricks stacking upon one another - right on the top of the chest of humanity. Like we are collectively lying on the ground with our chests and bellies exposed… then comes violence and loss, war and death - slamming on top of one another, crushing humanity beneath their weight. The war overseas, devastation in Mexico after hurricane Otis, the mass shooting in Maine, and now the loss of the beloved Matthew Perry (plus the hundreds of “small scale” stories of heartbreak and trauma that impact us personally) - it all hurts.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a rare or unusual span of devastating news; it seems like month after month, we are grieving the loss of someone or raging against senseless and innocent violence. Modern life, with access to every news story no matter how big or small, bombards us with stories and events that - if you have any ounce of sensitivity, compassion, and empathy - can weigh us down like we’re wearing chains while walking through molasses.

So what do we do? Do we stop browsing headlines and turn off the news for good and shield ourselves from any breaking news that might pop up on our social media feeds? Do we set boundaries around conversations with folks who are trying to share or process hard events? Honestly, we may have to for a bit. I’m not sure our fragile nervous systems are meant to take in this much gut-wrenching content in the span of a few weeks. Just like our bodies need rest from physical activity, our minds and spirits need rest from high-intensity emotional processing.

But once we find ourselves in a place where we have read the articles, we’ve seen the video footage, and we’ve listened to the commentary, we need to do something to process. Our brains want to make sense of what we know. And even when there is no possible way to make sense of the reality of the events, we can make sense of the emotions we are having surrounding those events.

That is where grieving and healing meet. And that is where journaling can be an incredibly effective tool to help you process, organize, and express thoughts and feelings.

This type of journaling - real expressive writing for the sake of processing - is where we see the greatest benefits of this practice. Research shows that just three to four 15-20 minute sessions of expressive writing per week can have significant benefits to physical, mental and emotional health. So here are a few prompts to help you get started when you feel like the hard parts of life are pulling you down.

Note: The goal of this type of therapeutic journaling is not necessarily to move on and wipe your hands clean of hard feelings. Challenging events and feelings are part of being human; we should never try to mask or strip away our humanity. The intention for these journal prompts is to help you fully process thoughts and feelings in order to increase compassion, empathy, and release pent-up emotions that can reduce physical and mental health.

Three Journal Prompts For When Life Feels Hard and Heavy

One. Anger is often the most accessible emotion during challenging times. Write about what makes you most angry about your situation right now: why are you hurting? From your perspective, who or what is to blame? What injustice is present? What has been lost?

Dig Deeper: Write about similar events that have created a snowball effect on your current circumstances and how the compound effect might be causing extra hurt.

Two. Write about the emotions that are beneath the anger. Search for a “feelings wheel” (like this one) and pick out a handful of the feelings that resonate most deeply with you right now. Write about these emotions with as much detail as possible: what they feel like in your body, how they are impacting your day, and how your body is wanting to respond (sleep, eat, exercise, etc.)

Dig Deeper: Write about your relationship to these emotions. Do you allow yourself to feel them? Do you judge yourself for feeling them?

Three. Give yourself a minute to get still, close your eyes, and take five deep and controlled breaths. As you are breathing, notice what you truly need right now. Make a list of activities that you know will have a positive impact on your nervous system: a walk or hike, call a friend, watch a favorite show, take a shower and go run an errand, do yoga, sleep, cook and eat a nourishing meal, etc. Next to each one, write a short story describing yourself doing that activity. For example:

Lena is going to go take a walk around the block. It is cool out - only about 40 degrees - so she is going to bundle up in her favorite sweatshirt and scarf. She is going to listen to music that makes her feel good: Kenny Chesney, Nate Smith, Taylor Swift. She is going to notice the smell of the fresh, crisp bite to the air and enjoy the beauty of the colorful leaves that continue to hold on for the remainder of fall. She will imagine herself engaging in her favorite game: catch a falling leaf before it hits the ground and maybe even get a chance to play a bit. She will feel her body moving, her lungs breathing, the energy moving around her, and the healing powers of nature. When she’s done, Lena will return to a warm home, heat up some chili, snuggle with her cat, and watch an episode of her favorite show, The Office.

Dig Deeper: After you complete your activity, reflect on and write about how you feel and what you experienced during the activity.

During hard times, the best we can do is check in with ourselves, check in with our people, rest, feel our feelings, allow those feelings to move through us, and treat ourselves with gentleness and compassion. We are all in this together; our sensitivity is our superpower.